Dark sunglasses and an ipod. Thats the disguise that I don, just like everyone else who doesn’t want to be bothered on the T into Boston every morning. The shades stay on even when going through tunnels. Lemme learn you why i do this…
The thing that I’ve noticed when you tune out the rest of the world with that get up: people have no idea if you are looking at them or even listening to their conversations. And that is awesome. People look at a person in sunglasses all the time just to avoid that awkward eye contact with the rest of the naked eyed commuters. Sometimes when I notice people looking at me and they think I don’t notice them i do somethin creepy like stick out my tongue, or fake pick my nose, then they do the weirdest little things to pretend like they weren’t looking at you.
People who ride the T are so damn inconsiderate too. The main thing that pisses me off is the escalator, but some people is just ign’ant and dont no any betters. The rule is: stand on the right, walk on the left. When I’m in a hurry to get to work and some douche is standing on the left side I get the urge to spit on them.
When someone needs to get off the train and they realize last minute that the door is gonna close on them, all of a sudden they’re Devin Hester and the rest of the passengers are the opposing team’s punt squad and they push everyone out of the way. I always laugh when the door closes and now they have 20 new enemies that they bumped into.
I also get pissed off by the guys trying to hand out Metro newspapers and when i say no they offer it to me in spanish, and im like “lo siento hijo tu eres un pedazo de mierda y no quiero leerlo ahora.” (hey diorio, thats a foreign language sonning*…throw it in the translator) Speaking of foreign languages…nah i’ll rant about that another time
Many people who ride the train refuse to practice good personal hygiene. I don’t know what it is, but the smelly people always wind up sitting next to me and they try to cuddle. If its coffee breath and u have this problem everyday because Dunkin Donuts doesnt hand out toothbrushes with their coffee anymore, there is an easy modern solution. It was just invented in 50 AD so not everyone knows about it, its called chewing gum and it masks your disgusting breath, try it slob.
Alright thats it for Part I. Gimme a couple more weeks of commuting and i’ll have more.
Late,
Crobs
*Sonning- when you unnecessarily use the word “son” to degrade someone, repeatedly or not. Son, sonned, sonning… ie “Dude I sonned my boss at work today i was like ‘your welcome for that delicious bagel and coffee son.’”
