Titanium Joe saved my life. That story will come later. For now you gotta find out about the man himself.
The year is 1986. Sugar Joe and his boys are rollin up on some shawtys in Joe’s dropped el camino with the candy paint. Joe and Hammerhead Hank are two black gang members out for an afternoon drive. Joe is a scrawny tall guy with long corn rows and a big puffy red jacket on, complete with red bandana and black jeans. Joe just polished his gator skins so he told Hank to drive. Hank had a red bulls jersey with Jordan 23 on the back and a black and red bulls hat that sits high on his head.
Joe swivels his head to the side and mumbles, “Hhhamma, stop right nah ima holla at dis bitch up ‘ere.”
The two hoodlums get out of the car and start walkin after a nubian princess with legs that go on for days. Tight little skirt and a tanktop, suckin on a lollipop, this bitch knows she’s fine and she walks with a swagger. “Baby gimme dat lollipop, you gon rot ya teef. I can’t have my future wife walkin around with stank ass teef like hammahead.”
The girl keeps walking as if nothing happened. She picks up the pace slightly, but does not seem to even care about the presence of the two creepy dudes following her.
“Sugar, man, das not cool…wait a minute who the fuck is that down there?”
Joe peers past the sexy dime piece and sees two guys with blue bandannas tied around their heads. “Fuck. Thas dem crips that been runnin us outta the crack game. They gonna cause a ruckus if they know we bloods, gimme my piece.”
Hammer hands Joe the chunky silver pistol that he had in the back of his jeans. Joe tucks it away in the front of his sweatpants and keeps walking towards his lady. “Gimme your pager number baby, I be nice to you I promise.”
A booming voice came from a little past the hoochie. “Who the shit you hollerin at son*? Thas my main fuck you tryin to pick up and I aint with that.” The two crips were standin in a doorway hands on their waste.
“I been tryin to get my future wife to know whas good but I think she got wax in them pretty little ears.” Joe said with a smile.
BANG!
BANG!
Hammerhead shot one of the crips in the shoulder. Joe got the other in the gut. As they ran away from the bloody scene Joe screamed, “Peace, baby, I still love you don’t hold this against me!”
*sonning as explained at the end of this
