America really does run on Dunkin. In the past few months Wakefield, Ma has gone from having 2 Dunks to having 4…with another new one about 100 feet outside the town limits. With this rapid expansion of an already thriving franchise I want to just point out some of the shit that pisses me off about those fuckers.
Thing #1 that pisses me off about Dunkin Donuts: The “reduced carb bagel”. Which is really just an advertising ploy to attract Atkins-friendly people to buy bagels, which are pretty much all carbs anyways. The thing about this bagel is that its covered in cheese…and its absolutely delicious. I can’t bring myself to order it because it sounds way too gay to order anything reduced carb. I’ve actually only gotten it a few times and everytime i do get it i look around and make sure nobody hears me, then i whisper it to the cashier, get it with the strawberry cream cheese and it is soo good.
Thing #2: Those “bases loaded” pull and play things on iced coffees.They just get soaking wet and u cant even pull them away from the cup after 2 seconds. Which leads me into the 3rd thing i hate about DD.
Thing #3: When a cup of iced coffee sweats and turns your cupholder into a puddle…and if you don’t have a cupholder and you’re holding it between your legs you think you peed.
Thing #4: Joba Chamberlain (pitcher, new york yankees). It has been brought to my attention that Joba is the spokesperson for the “Bases Loaded” campaign in New York. At first I didn’t give a shit because its a national company, but they were started in Boston and pretend to be gung-ho red sox. Stop putting on a facade Dunks….sell outs.
Thing #5: Flatbread sangwiches and pizzas. I’ve been opposed to this shit since day one. They came out at the same time as the hash browns and I just think it was too much too fast. Some people like the flatbreads but i’ve never heard of someone liking the pizza. The hashbrowns are a good idea, its a breakfast place…I just don’t like them. The pizzas are dumb. Thats all I have to say about that.
Thing #6: When I order my coffee with milk and sugar and they give me cream and sugar.
Thing #7: I am truly addicted to iced coffee. Can’t start my day without it…and it sucks to have to do that.
Don’t get me wrong because I love DD. I just don’t like these certain things and a few others.
Feel me.
Crob
